Wednesday, June 9, 2010

One Year Home

This blog is going private now.
I wanted to close it up after Eme's one year anniversary of being home with her video that I've yet to make.
Thank you for following our journey to China and for the numerous comments and emails throughout this journey. I've enjoyed you all & wish you the best.

With our busy life and not having the proper internet for a while, I wasn't able to acknowledge our one year mark with our sweet Emerson Grace. As I've blogged about in the past, there will be no "gotcha day" parties, no "forever family" day parties or anything else that will turn my daughters loss into a party for her family to celebrate. Her story is to big for a party, as her Mother though, I will forever cherish May 24, 2009 as one of the greatest days of my entire existence.

We walked into a busy room and a complete stranger handed me a stunned little girl and walked away. I immediately loved her for exactly who she was. She was the dream that my soul had longed for my entire life. May 24, 2009 was nothing but a huge day of happiness from my perspective. May 24, 2009 was nothing but another huge loss for my daughter. She did gain a family that will love her forever, but she lost her entire life that day. She lost her homeland, her culture, every scent that she recognized, every face that cared for her, every Chinese word ever spoken to her, every piece of clothing, toy or lovey that she knew of, all familiar foods were gone to her, every thread of her entire being was lost to her on that day. Her grief was heavy, her anxiety high. We've spent the past year working hard on healing her wounded heart. The scars are there, they always will be, but those scars are also the glue of who she is. Nobody lives a perfect life or a life without pain. These are Eme's roots that are molding her into the young lady she is growing up to be.

What a difference a year makes. For most of you, you know the pain and anxiety that my daughter suffered from for the first 3 months home. I can hardly recognize her as that same little girl. She's do darn confident and happy that it's easy to forget how fragile she can be. Her fierce love of life is nothing short of heroism. I will forever be grateful for the long journey to China that led both our paths on the right track to meet exactly at that moment on May 24, 2009. Thankful is all I feel one year later.

Thankful for:
the pain of the wait
the total annoyance of paper work
the long flight over there
the agency who was nothing short of perfect
the social worker that redid my paperwork 3 times
the pain in the ass gov't who messed up my paperwork and lost it 4 times
the man who held my daughter in that busy room till we walked in
the man who sat down and shed a few tears in the background of my video while he watched our first few moments with our daughter
Eme's birth parents who choose life for her
Eme's foster parents that loved her till we could
the orphanage that did the best they could for her
whomever the anonymous person was that spread our family file out on their desk and matched us with Ling Wan Hu
& to the People's Republic of China for allowing us to raise one of your own.
Thank you.


L said...

I wish you and your family all the best in your journey together. I have learned so much from you and your family as you have traveled this road. I hope we can be the kind of parents to our new daughter that you have been to your. All the best.

Wendy said...

Beautifully written!! Thank you so much for posting. Can't believe it has already been a year.

Anonymous said...

Thanks so much for letting us follow along. It has been a beautiful journey!!!

Kim said...

You are AMAZING..
I am sooo glad that I have got to follow you on your journey..

Alyson and Ford said...

I have loved following your family journey, what very special people you are. Thank you for your sharing of time with us and comments on our blog. Hope you will still be "around".

Alyzabeth's Mommy

Catherine said...

Beautiful!! God has brought you together through so many wonderful, loving people. Eme is much the girl she is today because of you dear mom. You who loved her, carried her, prayed for her, supported her, mourned with her and so much more. Eme is blessed to call you mom!

Love ya.

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful year for your family. Eme is so blessed to have such wonderful parents and awesome big brothers. We adopted in 2006 and 2009 and our baby girls mean the world to mean. I wish you well and I love to hear about your family . Im glad you moved to Georgia as you are much closer to Alabama and we could meet.

Our email is

I would love to continue following your blog. Blessings to you!

Julie said...

I am so thankful I was able to follow your journey. Thank you for sharing.
Wishing you and your family only blessings.

Susan said...

Wow, what a beautiful post. As the mother of two daughters adopted from China my heart knows those exact feelings. I have followed your journey from your original blog and would love to continue if you are open to that.

Thanks for sharing....

Buckeyes & Eggrolls said...

What a cool way to end your blog. :0) As always, I've loved following this blog. :0) I know May 24th will always be a special day in your heart.

ps.. we don't have a gotcha day party either. I think last year we went to eat at Maddy's favorite Chinese buffet but to her, it was just another day to go out to eat :0)

3 Peanuts said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
deana said...

Thank you for allowing us to follow your journey. You have a beautiful family.


sara said...

Thanks so much,T. Being the mom of 3 internationally adopted kids and one bio kid, I have related to, and learned so much from your posts. You are such a great mom!Blessings to you and your family!

Ivy said...

Thank you for your sweet comment. I saw your video and it was so touching. I don't think we ever forget the moment we first saw our child's precious faces nor the second they placed her in our arms.

Wishing you all the best!