Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Eme's world

In Eme's eyes, G hung the moon.
She adores him like no other and the bond they share is very evident.
He believes that she is the only girl for him.

G has been a lifesaver for me over the past 6 months.
During the first 3 months home, when Eme would have nothing to do with Daddy, G was the only one that could hold her while I took a quick shower or had to get something done without her strapped in her pouch (the ergo). Now that most of Eme's fears are gone, she gets really excited when the boys come home from school, especially her G.
I don't want to portray that Eme's world is 100% *healed*, because it's not.
We have several concerns that all stem from her first 15 months of institutionalized care. My gut tells me many of the things that we are seeing are not just normal toddler behavior and we plan on seeking further help for her besides the physical therapy that begins this week.
What is really *annoying* for me to constantly here is how so & so's child was exactly like that. Well, so & so's child didn't live in an orphanage and have multiple care takers and so & so's child did not share in the quality of care that my daughter endured the the first year and 1/2 of her life. I really wish China would do away with the damn potty chairs, though we've been able to *medermafy* her tie down scars, I believe this is the root of several of her physical problems today. It just gets old explaining her situation repeatedly to the caregivers for her to only be compared to the *normal* child. I really wish we had an international pediatrician in my neck of the woods. Though I've been pretty steadfast with my thoughts on what Eme needs, it certainly helps to have my friend traveling the road in front of me & be that reassuring voice as I begin to navigate through the world of therapies and neurogistics. I've learned a ton from her & I'm very thankful for all she's shared with me.
On a humorous note:
My Chinese girl hates rice. (???) What's up with that?
She loves fish, not into green beans, though she chowed on them in China like they were brownies, but rice...nope, she just shoves it around her plate.


Abby's Mom said...

She is too cute! You guys are doing an awesome job. (Not that it is a job but wow she is thriving with all of the love) Abby won't eat rice either :)

Isabella's Mommy and Daddy said...

The not eating rice is tooo funny...
as for her needs.. you as her Mother knows what is best..
Have a great week..
love the photos of the Eme and G..

3D said...

She is just rocking! With all the support, love, help and encouragement from her great family, she will get thru it all.

Keep smilin!

Anonymous said...

The other comment I love is when I explain that my child is a bit delayed, most likely due to the institutionalization, and I get the puzzled looks and "but so&so's child is doing so great". Congratulations, my niece did really well too, but my child isn't.

Do people not get that each child is an individual who will react to situations differently than any other child?!

Sorry, ranting.

Glad to hear that Eme is loving her big brother.


Suzie said...

Love the picures of Eme and G!

Thank you for sharing your struggles, thoughts, concerns, etc. with all of us out here reading your blog. I have learned so much and feel more aware of what "might" be when I finally get my girl.

You have such a beautiful family!

Sandra said...

Love the brother-sister bond Eme and G share. That is so very special.

Funny about the rice. Tahlia doesn't really care for rice either unless it is sushi rice ;-)

Meg said...

my girl does not like rice either, go figure! I am also sick of explaining things...."she's four, don't you think you hold her too much" I smile politely and walk away but I'd really like to say "bite me, she wasn't held the first two years of her life, excuse me while I give her what she needs"......why does everyone have an opinion and think they know better. I'm glad you have support- and a path partially navigated.....she is beautiful and clearly is thriving in her family!

~ Alison n' Mali~ said...

You are very welcome - I'm glad to have the opportunity to share the knowledge. & I know if Mali understood, she'd be glad, too =)

Oh God - were those M's little jeans? Was she ever that small ??? That's hard for me to believe.

What's not to love about G?! I haven't found one thing yet.

Eme & Mali would make perfect dinner partners. Mali would trade just about anything on her plate for more rice. & she'd lick the plate to get every last morsel.

Most other people have no clue about traumatic beginnings. I thought I had 1/2 a clue in Jan 2006 - then later found out I was far from informed. You can take the baby out of the orphanage, but (sadly) M will always live with the orphanage inside her. I'm hoping we can get her to the point (very soon) where it doesn't interfere with her daily functioning, her emotions, her relationships, her image of herself, etc.

Seeing professionals like we saw this past weekend gives us hope. Seriously. It's nice when other people 'get it', see exactly what you see, can give u legitimate reasons why its happening, & can then tell you how to fix it - or at least make it better.

The fixes are far from quick, but at least they exist. I shudder to think of where we'd be without all this 'stuff' we do.

simply t said...

Yep, those cute little jeans used to be Mali's! They do grow quick!

Tawni said...

Your girl (and G's girl) is adorable. Seriously adorable.

I can't imagine what Em has been through in her short little life on earth. What a blessing it is you're not turning a blind eye to them and instead facing them head on. And you're right, it helps when there's someone that can relate and support and has *been there*.

The rice thing cracks me up...

Kristi said...

Follow your gut instinct with Eme.
An informed Mom's instinct is right on when it comes to her child. No rational Mom wants additional life-challenges for her child in any way, shape or form, but, if they are there, she wants to hit them head on for and with her child.

Brandi said...

LOL!!! My Chinese girl hates rice, too! Too funny!

Anonymous said...

My granddaughter, from Jiangxi Province, refuses to eat any Asian food--Chinese, Thai, you name it. She's strictly a mac and cheese girl, while the rest of us could eat nothing but Chinese, Thai, Indian (or anything else from that part of the world). And, to top it off she only likes the mac and cheese that comes in a box. But, we're crazy in love with her and her preference for dairy foods.

Kyra said...

Does she not like white rice? Looks like brown rice on the plate which my girl is not that fond of either.
She's a real sweet and spirited girl. You are very blessed!

Randi said...

My Emma hates rice too. Except Mexican rice :)

Sally said...

You're on top of things, you have a wonderful son who helps you and adores Eme, you have a friend who is an expert at what you are dealing with. This all spells success and no head-in-the-sand syndrome coming from this Mama! Eme just sparkles, she is so cute. What a little treasure.

Daniella said...

I hate that my bloglines takes forever to show you updated :( anyway... love the update and the pics.

Buckeyes & Eggrolls said...

So funny about the rice. Maddy hates broccoli and in China, she too ate that like they were brownies. She also hates fish and that is what she was supposed to love. Nope,, Nada.. NO FISH for my girl.

Love Miss E and her brothers bond. I know it warms your heart to watch. :0)

3 Peanuts said...

T---I love how you are such an advocate for Eme. Ignore other people. I did not know mederma would help. Kate had those marks too. At first we thought they were burns. They are gone..thankfully but it took forever and I was so afraid they were permanent and she would be questioned every time she wore a swimsuit. Keep chugging along with what is best for your sweetie... I think others are sharing with good intentions but I know it can be frustrating.

BrOwN CiRcUs said...

She is so darling, those dang potty chairs are creepy! We are waiting on our TA, and this is a huge concern for us.
Best wishes!

Karen and Bob said...

My girl has those scars too, and I don't think any amount of Med3erma would help. They are so deep that you can actually feel them on her skin.

It breaks my heart.

Family of Four said...

People have such a hard time to undersatnd that our children have different issues and needs that have to be met and comparing them to so & so's child is just sooo frusterating! On the flip side things WILL get better it just takes LOTS and LOTS of time. My oldest still has attachement isssues and she is 6...BUT things are always better and better each year! :) My youngest at 3 seems much farther at the same age but she has her own issues. Two children, both adopted from China, two sets of isues to work through... Hope some of this brings a little comfort.


Life with JJ, Starr and Spice said...

Just popping in to tell you that I totally understand cuz I live it with both of my little's; especially E who was 2 1/2 years in a horrendous hell hole and has the emotional and physical scars to prove it. You are right. Most people do not get it. Keep on keeping on with what you are doing! I am sure that your Eme is much like my E, a real survivor!

Your G has the sweetest look to him and I am sure you are completely proud of him.