Tuesday, December 29, 2009

I absolutely love...

Just a few things I want to jot down about Eme Grace before 2009 comes to an end.

I absolutely LOVE....

*the way she stands in front of me with her hands up saying "up"?

*the way she looks at the furniture that she falls into that causes a booboo and shakes her finger saying, "nonono"

*the ways she attempts to say, "Oh know you didn't" while wagging her finger back and forth.

*the way she goes back and forth saying, "Mommy Daddy Mommy Daddy"

*when she stood up in church on Christmas Eve when she saw the baby Jesus on the big screen and yelled out for the congregation, "BABBBBY!"

*that she just started noticing her referral photo as a 'baby' but doesn't recognize that it is baby Eme at all.

*that she knows there's a bunch of her toys in a leather trunk and how she goes over to it and grunts to lift it up while saying, "Up"

*how her eyes were filled with ease & comfort when I found her laying on Daddy's chest early this morning wide awake with her arms wrapped around him tight as he rubbed her back so I could stay sleeping. & how she didn't move once she knew I was awake & looking at her.

*that she goes towards the garage and announces "Bye Bye" when she's ready to get out of the house for a bit.

*that she answers "Yeah" to every question you ask.

*that she sneaks her a bite of lunch and then Kita a bite while acting all nonchalant

*that every cup she points to that's hers is 'MOLK' 'MOLK'

*that she wants her toes painted and holds her foot up in my face and says "Toes"

*that all dogs are 'DOJIES' and she LOVES them all.

*that she loves all things bright and shiney, especially jewelry

*how she sways back and forth anytime, anywhere she hears music

*how she looks directly into my eyes and starts humming the tone when she wants me to sing the 'I Love You' song to her at bedtime

I so adore who Emerson Grace is and feel like the luckiest Mommy alive to have the privilege of not only knowing who she is but also getting to live, raise and enjoy her every single day. I remember staring for 6 long weeks into the eyes of a photograph and wondering who Wan Hu Ling really was. Is she a happy girl? A sad girl? A girly girl or a rough and tumble kind of girl? When I think back on our 2 weeks in China and how much she smiled then and how much she smiles now I am very confident she is a very happy girl, though her smile is now authentic towards us. It's definitely a better kind of different. I missed so much of Eme's beginnings and it's a part of her history that making up for lost time just doesn't really count, but I can also say that her history is our journey. It's what makes us who we are, completely real.

I could not possibly love this little girl any more if I tried. My heart physically aches every single time I think of her or look at her. She is no longer just a dream come true, but she is a reality into my every being. Her beautiful almond shaped eyes leave me completely in awe of her beauty.

Oh those eyes.... Every single time Eme Grace looks at me, I feel as though I am looking into my soul. My connection to her is so deep that I often wonder how it's even possible to feel that connected to any other human being. She holds my heart in her hands & I thank God every day that the wait quadrupled and He created this child to be my daughter.


Pink Velvet Mommy said...

what a lovely post, and how I understand that ache in your heart. It brings me to tears at times if I spend too much time thinking what if...we hadn't changed programs, what if the China wait had not grown, what if we had switched just two weeks earlier or later. I know in the deepest part of my heart that our daughter was truly meant to be ours, and it is just crazy to me that it always works out that way. I remember sitting on the computer many times reading "the child that is meant to be yours will be yours" "you just have to wait it out and the wait will be worth it" CRAP is what I thought, I just wanted to scream "give me our kid already" Boy becareful what you wish for never became clearer than when we brought Hayden home.

Funny everything you ask Hayden these days is "no, no, no" Hoping for yes soon!!

What a beautiful girl you have, and congrats on feeling like the luckiest mama...sitting in the same boat with you:) Happy New Year!!

Diana said...

This was a beautiful post and I was in tears by the end!!!
I so feel the same as you about my boys but I do wish I had a little "pink" to feel that way about too:)
I am so happy for you and your family..I know I do not know you but I have followed you forever!!!
Hugs and Happy New Year to all of you.

Polar Bear said...

Beautiful post.

This wait -which seems never ending- gets harder as the days continue to pile up. It's post like this one, especially when written by a friend, that give me hope and a little more will to wait a little longer.

I'm so happy for you, Eme, and your family. I'm so glad you still post. It really does help to see this wait will make sense in the end. It really does!

Hugs! Happy New Year

Briana's Mom said...

Your love for your daughter just jumps off my computer screen. I understand what you mean when you say she was worth every second of the wait. Eme is an amazing little girl.

Have a happy new year! I know you will. :)

Marla said...

Awwwww, you made me cry! What a precious post. Thank you for sharing your journey to and with your daughter with us. She's precious in her little hat and mittens!

Laurie said...

All is right with your world...enjoy.

Sandra said...

LOVE this, Tracy!
Happy New Year to you all :-)

Isabella's Mommy and Daddy said...

This is what makes me positive on this wait.. I know that one day I will have the perfect little girl in my arms..
Have a Happy New Year..

Abby's Mom said...

Know just what you mean :0

Wanda said...

What a beautiful tribute to your daughter. Your feelings for her are palpable.

In expressing who your Eme Grace is, you've exposed who you are. Pretty amazing.

Happy New Year!

Wanda (At Last...)

Colleen said...

Tracy - this was such a beautiful post. I felt every single word you put down here. Eme is a beautiful, happy, vibrant, smart and content little girl. She could not be more perfect for your family. The wait... was SO worth all of the agony, look at your girl...she's yours, and she is so very lucky to have you as her Mom.

Happy New Year to all of you. I wish we could be toasting with you on the beach. We are there in spirit. See you in a couple months. Love you.

Georgea's Mommy said...

Crying right now. LOVE this post & feel so very many of the same things toward our sweet Georgea. It's amazing & beautiful, isn't it? Thanks for sharing your heart.

I love it!

Kris said...

AMAZING little girl. i often say to garth that i wish i could bottle this time or stop the clock, you know?

and your last sentence here says it all. i knew the day would come when we'd ALL be thankful for how long the wait was...

happy new year to you guys!

Melinda said...

What a beautiful heartfelt post! It just proves that everything happens for a reason and though we may not understand or like it at the time in the end it all comes together and makes sense!

Happy New Year to your and your family!