Thursday, June 18, 2009

All over the place on this one...

*I'm tired. Really tired. Like the kind of tired that makes me stop and say, "I'm getting my ass kicked by all this joy I've created." An odd place to be.

*My sensational neighbor went to Canada for 5 weeks. I cried when she pulled out of her garage. I have absolutely no idea how to survive without her. She's been a godsend to me and she'll never know how much her generosity has helped my sanity.

*The rules are so different with Emerson. Parenting her goes against every thing we've ever done with the boys and against the norm in every aspect. For the most part, everyone we have come into contact with may not 'get it', but they respect it and want Eme's heart to heal. It's really hard to keep telling people though to not touch the baby. It's hard to have to keep explaining myself over and over. It's hard to currently be the ONLY person that is able to take care of her. I can't wait for her to allow her Daddy into her heart. My friend did ask me how long she had to wait to hold her and give her a smooch, I was honest and told her that it was so far out that to give her a date would seem ridiculous and to just plan on smooching her in about 10 years, 5 if she's lucky=0)

*If you are still waiting for your child, I HIGHLY recommend that you get started reading some attachment books and ordering the CD series of "Taming the Tiger While It's Still A Kitten." I've listened to it once and I'm relistening to it and when I'm done listening to it, I'll listen to it again. It also wouldn't hurt to go ahead and start lifting weights and practicing carrying around 20-30 pounds around allllll day.

*Eme~Grace continues to love her pouch. I personally think it's crazy how much she loves that pouch, but she continues to get excited when she sees me grab the ergo and she happily spreads her legs when picked up in order to go in it....where she cuddles her head right up against my chest and enjoys the world. It's making the (recommended) 6 hours of pouch time easy.

*She has learned to pull herself to a sitting position and she is doing the backwards scoot. She is putting weight on her front arms and we are doing floor exercises of rocking her hips and working them in the crawl motion. We will not put her in a walker tills she masters the crawl. For a good explanation of that, visit Alison.

*It takes a whole lot of time out of my day to sit with her while she falls asleep for nap and night. I did manage to get all the laundry done and put away yesterday. I even impressed myself, cause I threw in a side of floor cleaning, but for the most part, there's just not a whole lot of time left in the day for anything. I haven't even had to cook dinner yet since we returned from China....but that ends tomorrow. J is supposed to fly to GA next week for business, I have absolutely no idea how to do this gig with a baby strapped to me all alone AND not to mention that my saving grace is currently in Canada for 5 weeks.

*The H0usewives of NJ was such a guilty pleasure. To bad it's over, it's the only thing I Tevo'd.

*What's up with PETA getting all pissy over Obama killing a fly? PETA needs to get a grip. Mr. Prez has some impressive fly swatting skills.

*Eme~Grace loves Kita and repeated her name today. If I ask where Kita is, she quickly scans the room till her eyes lock on her and then she gives a big 2 dimple smile. She loves that the Kita girl is always ready to lick her fingers, stick her big ol' dog tongue down her mouth or clean up the leftovers off her face.

*The baby in the crib next to the king size bed is not good for romance. Just sayin.

*We rec'd a 'congratulations on your new daughter' card in the mail today from one of the old BOD asshats. For all the new people following this blog, I'm sure you are completely stumped on this bullet, but for all you old timers, I'm sure you will find that as shocking and yet as ridiculous as I did. I told ya they were bat shit crazy people.....go figure.

*All my spare time has gone to reloading software in my newly dumped pc. Don't ever get the HP Vista 64 bit laptop...it's a POS. Apparently the 64 bit and the Vista don't like each other. The computer isn't even a year old and it's took a dump more times than I have in the past 10 months. Luckily, my smart neighbor was able to remove my hardrive and extract all my China photos and videos.

*With the lack of time, I am behind on emails, thank you's and everything else in life. I apologize.

*I still can't believe that this amazing child is mine. She is so beautiful and so perfect in every way. My heart physically hurts just looking at her and thinking about the road traveled by us both in order to have her here in paradise with me...not just anyone, but HER.

*The princess has fallen asleep and now I am going to bed....

13 comments:

Lindsay said...

Great post. I'm glad your girl likes her Ergo so much: like you say it makes it easier. It sounds like Eme is making up for lost time with the phsyical development; once she can explore herself it will be interesting to see if she still wants her ergo as much, or if she will give you a break.

Hope you manage ok with your DH and neighbor away next week. I'd say it's time for your teen to learn to cook ;)

Bizarre you got a card from the BOD person: either they're mellowing with age, or barking mad :)

CrombieClan said...

Luv ya!!!! As simple as that...luv ya.

Angela said...

I just listened to my CD's today. Some of which I had already heard, but some of it, OMG how am I going to be able to do that with two other little girls.
The ABSOLUTELY no TV for a year has me wondering. while the others are at school, I can manage, but once they get home they're gonna want to watch something. Or how about when we go to other people's homes, we can't just tell them they can't have the T.V. on.
I am so glad that this subject came up before we get our girl! Although I HATE that others have had to go through it, I am very glad that they have spoken up, to help educate the rest of us.
I have picked out a couple of different kinds of carriers, and plan to get both, just to have choices during the pouch times during phase 1 and 2.

mumma to many said...

Can I just say that having 3 adopted kiddos and no bio to compare it takes a while to get your head around and now after a year we are just starting to catch up. However swap the baby for no chaos I am sure you can guess what we would choose each and everytime!
Hugs from NZ

Island Girl said...

Ahhh the BOD. I miss your tales of them!!! It made my life seem so easy ;P LOL.

Someday Eme will come to you and say "Thank-You for loving me" and yu can say right back " Thank-You for letting me" Then all this will be so worth it!!!

Isabella's Mommy and Daddy said...

I need to seriously go get those cd's..
Sounds like if you do those things from the beginning the later part is the reward..
I can't imagine how tired you are..
I truly enjoy every post you put up..you are helping all of us out here that have yet to expreiance this amazing journey..
Love ya girly.
hope you get some rest..
I wish I lived closer I would help out with the boys.. I wouldn't touch Eme though.. even though you can totally understand how everyone would LOVE to hug and kiss such cuteness...
Hope you get some rest..
Hugs..

Colleen said...

Those neighbors of yours DO rock. M is one of the most generous, kindest and selfless people I have ever met. I only wish I could come down and stay in her house for the 5 weeks she is away to help you.

I know how hard it was for me... and I didn't have 3 other kids. Plus the extra parenting you are doing... ouch. Yep - you are exhausted I am sure. Have I said one day at a time yet? Are you going to slap me for saying it again? Its true...at least for me. Its all I can manage with H's new issues.

Miss you. I feel helpless not being able to help you....

Kristy said...

Get some rest my sweeet friend, I will be here praying for all of you and for your Eme's heart to mend.

Love and blessings, Kristy

Polar Bear said...

I ordered "Taming the Tiger..." cd set this morning. I am so thankful that all of you who have been there, or are there, are willing to speak about how difficult it is in the beginning.

I hope you can get some rest.

Ps. I agree on the NJ housewife, I've never watched any of them, but got hooked on this one. Sad it is only six episodes. :)

Sandra said...

I can so relate to the part where you said you are getting your butt kicked by all the joy you created. I totally got my a$$ kicked after bringing Tahlia home. The first 18 months of her being home with us were some of the hardest of my life. She was so different than Jazzie and needed so much from me and only me. I still don't know how I survived that time and how our marriage survived that time; things were not easy for sure.

People used to tell me that things would get better, and I would not believe them. There were times I wondered if things were really ever going to get better, but they did. And things will get better for you as well.

stephanie and scott said...

Tracy,
sorry if I posted twice but wasn't sure the first one took.
Anyway, ass kicking doesn't even begin to touch it when you are completely exhausted. I felt more like getting plowed over by an ice road trucker in the beginning!
Glad Ms.E is getting stronger everday! Wonderwoman has nothing on you!

chicknboy said...

parenting Elizabeth is completely opposite of what we did with our other 2. and it's hard.

what you are doing with Emerson now IS going to pay off later. I so wish I had kept Elizabeth in the Ergo longer, wish I had done alot of things differently looking back now..now that we're going thru attachment issues.

hang in there. I HAVE TO believe it's easier to win her trust and heart now, than to have to fight for it later.

I whole=heartedly agree with your bullet about reading as much on attachment at possible -it can ONLY help.

you are doing an amazing job.

Julie said...

Congratulations!!!
You are doing great and tho it's hard at the begining you are creating a fantastic bond. The baby carrier was key for me too and my little girl is a real mommy's girl and so very attached.

After 6 months of rocking her to sleep and only putting her down asleep (exhausting, really) we started to get tought and have her fall asleep on her own in her crib in her room. There was a lot of crying at first but it didn't affect the bond and she is now such and amazing sleeper. Just something to keep in mind.

Hugs,

Julie