I have stared into these eyes all day long...
(this is what J & the boys refer to as her 'Tiger picture')
I have spent the day studying up on RAD. The tough stuff that most people don't want to talk about, the stuff that scares you shitless, the kind of stuff that makes you yell out a big, "WHOA..."
Because my dear friend is deep in the throws of therapy to help heal her daughters heart, I've decided to dust off the attachment books and dig as deep down as I can go in order to better prepare myself & my family. J came home an hour early and we spent the entire time talking about everything I read. My highlighter is about to run out of ink & my eyeballs hurt. I do feel better empowered for what might be coming, but I also feel completely inadequate for the duty that is calling. I'm scared there won't be enough of me to go around. My girl will have had 3 abandonment's in her life by the time I roll in to pick her up....I would say that's an 'interruption' in what should have been the most formative bonding time in her life, the first year.
J & I are spending a whole lot of time talking about how we must change our parenting style to fit the child that is in a high risk category of having attachment issues. Most of my close friends and family will not understand many of the things that we are going to do with Emerson & the reasons behind them. I'm afraid this will only make things more difficult. We do live a social life with many people in & out of our home daily & I am wondering how all this will balance itself out. I'm scared that we won't be strong enough to handle her fragile state for as long as she needs. I feel as though I am cramming for the big final in one month & have way to much to learn!
The good thing is, my husband is vowing to do everything on this earth to get it right with her, including moving the sun in the sky if need be.
Next topic.....as I pull out my soapbox &
climb on the very tip top spot.
Why in the hell would anyone think that traveling to the very country, that finds you worthy of raising one of their very own jewels, that is low on resources to take care of the very people that hand you one of their own ACCEPTABLE to leave your dirty underwear across the many Provinces of China???????? I'm totally disgusted to read the many threads dealing with packing and how many people have declared that they will NOT be bringing home any dirty underwear, but instead, they will just ditch em! Apparently, they haven't been educated on China's overflowing landfills. I'm pretty certain you don't have to be an educated person to figure out that China doesn't really care to deal with your dirty laundry.
Bring your damn dirty underwear home with you!
Disposable underwear you ask? Yeah, how biodegradable is that? I don't know, but I find the whole discussion in the forum to be outrageous. I don't care if you shit yourself on Gotcha Day, bring your undies home, please don't scatter them throughout the beautiful country of China as your departing gift......
now stepping off my soap box.......
*Because inquiring minds have asked, I will take some photos of the pink palace soon.
*G made the "A" team in golf at his school. He was thrilled and we were for him as well. He doesn't really have the opportunity to play a whole lot, unless he's with his Gramps, so he was very happy to be playing with the heavy hitters. Of course the first thing he wanted to do was call his Gramps to thank him for taking him golfing every.single.day of his spring break.
(I'm totally blowing this G rated thing aren't I?)