Thursday, April 30, 2009

Oh my aching heart...**UPDATED**

Not gonna lie. This last batch of rumors knocked the wind out of me.
I realize they are still 'just' rumors & there is so much conflicting information circling that everything seems to be as clear as mud.
TA's really should have been here, but that doesn't mean they won't arrive tomorrow.
All things crossed.
I realize in the big scope of life that 20-30 days is really nothing, but for my heart, it's everything. What does it mean for me to have to wait another month?
It means:
*my girl will most likely learn to walk & it won't be to my arms she falls into.
*she will probably cut another tooth & I won't be there to wipe her tears & help the pain to disappear.
*she will enter into another season of life with 10 layers of clothing on & not have the comfort of air conditioning.
*she will miss out on seeing her big brother turn into a teenager.
*she will go another month without the love of a family.
*she will have one more month of baths, that I won't be able to give her.
*one more month of new discoveries of food, that I won't be able to feed her or introduce her to.
*is she crying? It's another month of not feeling the love & comfort that only her Mommy can give her.
*is she bored, sitting in that chair? It's another month her brain will go unstimulated without the toys that we have waiting for her.
*is she happy? It's another month that it won't be me putting that smile on her face.
*it's another lost month of her baby giggles that I will never hear.
*it's another month that she will learn to speak a Chinese word that will fall on deaf ears.
Another month is huge to my heart.
**Updated** this just in from our agency...
Hello All, We at ____ want to make sure that you have the same information that we do. At this time, we realize there are many rumors swirling about the chat groups, etc. that upcoming travel groups will be delayed because of the CCAA's concern about the Swine Flu. What is true is that CCAA did put out a notice last night regarding the Swine Flu and expressing their concerns. However, to put your minds at ease, we are informing you that the CCAA has told us that they have no intention of discontinuing Travel Approvals. Rather they have requested that families and agencies seriously consider whether they will travel during this time, as children are much more susceptible to such viruses, before making travel arrangements. The CCAA will extend all current travel approvals 2 months for those families who decide to not travel at this time. If you would like to talk further about reconsidering travel please give us a call and we will make arrangements for you. We certainly understand anyone choosing not to travel and would encourage anyone who has even potentially been exposed to the Swine Flu virus to seriously reconsider traveling so as not to spread the virus to others. It is important to consider all of the factors, aside from your desire to bring your child home, the safety and well-being of the children being adopted, the children in the orphanages, and all other peoples in China or during travel you could some in contact with. We will keep you posted if any new information on this front comes our way. Thank you for your understanding and your patience on this matter. Hope you are all well.
It looks as though we won't have to wait that extra month! Thank You CCAA!

25 comments:

Colleen said...

What in the world do I say to this thru my tears????

I hope so much that these are rumors. All of what you said just sits so hard on my heart............

If you wish upon a star..... do it...good things will come.

Smooches!

Sandra said...

I know it is...
So sorry - I have no words of wisdom (not that you want to hear them anyway).

Deb in MT said...

But...she will have have you as her mother for the rest of her life.

The rest of her life. And yours.

Hugs & a tissue,
Deb M in MT

Meg said...

hoping and praying she is in your arms sooner rather than later......
you've had one roller coaster ride to this little beauty.....
Meg

Island Girl said...

Ya like anyone is going to wait right!!!

Yahooie you can still get your girl and she can b save fromn the swine flu with you!!!
Bobbie

Sandra said...

Now go and get a nice cocktail :-)

maia said...

It's tough all over right now, and I feel for everyone who is waiting. Lovely blog - I stopped by via Maryellen. Your daughter is just beautiful. Wishing you speedier progress soon! It's so worth the wait!

A Beautiful Mess said...

good news...now c'mon TA!!!

Anonymous said...

Long time follower...I can't read the red update against the background. Can you change it into a different color? Hope it's good news!

Adopted from Jiangxi Province 6/21/06

Special K said...

I'm so glad you told me to check this at work. Totally brightened my day after the back and forth of RQ I'd been reading since last night. Definitely much improved my mood and I came home with a smile on my face. :)


So stinkin happy for you I just can't stand it.

laurie said...

Great news...things do seem to change all the time though. The first part of your post was a tear-jerker.

Luna said...

Who knows, maybe we will get our TA's tomorrow and we can head into the weekend with some good news!
It's been a stressful couple of days. Get some rest tonight, Angel....Ummm, I mean Princess! ;)

Rhonda said...

Fantastic news!

PIPO said...

Hope you get the good word soon....tomorrow would be nice!

Terri said...

Oh, Good Gawd could you go through anymore. I have never seen the like. I would be an alcoholic by now if I was you. Thank goodness things are looking brighter, before you know it you will be on that plane & holding your precious daughter in NO time. Hang in There!

WOW, do you have a story to tell her some day!!!

Kris said...

Hi there...I'm in in the same LID as you with the same fears as you...let's hope your agency has it right so we can all get our TA's!!! Which SWI is your daughter at in Jiangxi?

Hang in in there...I'm try'in to.
Kris

Lindsay said...

I'm so glad your agency have been able to set your fears at ease at little. The CCAA does seem to be doing everything possible to keep folk informed and also protect the children and orphanage staff in their care from infection. Hoping for you all that everything can go ahead as planned for you to bring your daughter home sooner rather than later.

LaLa said...

So happy your agency got with you and you now know more. It is so hard "watching" them grow up on the other side of the world. We waited 10 wks to travel to Annslee and 4 months for Coby...as hard as the wait for referral is the wait to travel is almost unbearable!! Hang in there...she will be in your arms soon : )

Briana's Mom said...

I'm so glad to read the update! Hope you are in China really soon!

kris said...

glad to know my interpretation skills are spot on :O) YAY for you girlfriend!!

cougchick said...

Glad to hear you'll get your TA soon.

Liene said...

We still haven't received our TA either and Lane is scheduled to leave on the 4th of June. The jist that we got from our agency was that the CCAA was not discouraging anyone from travel. However, they have stated that they will not allow families to visit the orphanages while in China to protect the children in these facilities. If families want to wait to travel, then that is alright too.

I'm not worried. The media is blowing this out of proportion as they do almost everything they talk about. It seems as though every case of the H1N1 virus found in any country outside of Mexico is because that person recently traveled to Mexico. Mexico says that the number of cases is going down and that as of yesterday there were no new deaths.

It will all be OK. We'll be on our way faster than we know it. Hang in there!

Buckeyes & Eggrolls said...

So glad to read the update from your agency! While I know that your girl will bring you more blessings than you can imagine... she is still very one lucky little girl to be getting you as her mommy!

OziMum said...

Got no words to make you feel any better - other than, Tari still wasn't walking at 16 months, and they said she was walking with a carer at 11 months... so sadly, (although it was lovely to watch her walk on her own for the first time) - I don't think the kiddies get too much stimulation in their early homes... on the upside - you get to see her bloom once she's in your arms.

Hopefully you'll get some confirmation soon.

Pug Mama said...

couldn't agree with you more.