Thursday, April 2, 2009

Still waiting with no end in site....

Colleen's coming....reinforcement for me, cause I'm about to lose my mind.
I've bawled my eyes out & now I'm sporting smudged eye makeup & a huge headache.
I'm so sad that I really truly believed that this would be the week that would give us our girl & now I'm sitting here with a broken heart & a headache. A big one.
Nobody is expecting packages & I feel like shit. She's been matched with us & I want to see her cute little mug, now....not in another week. I don't want to go all weekend and not know. It's like a huge weight sitting on me and there's nothing I can do, it is what it is. My boys will be heartbroken & I'm mad that I even told them that this would be the week.
I can't talk about it without crying, so therefore, I don't want to talk. I don't want to be patient any longer, I don't want to wait another few days & if one more person tells me I can try their pain in the ass daughter on for size, I'm gonna lose it. I just want MY daughter & I want this whole process over with. I've stuck to the 'Enjoy the Journey' motto long enough, just give me my girl already & I'll be on my way.
Oh, & did anyone see The View yesterday? PUL~EAZE! Did anyone catch the line that IA is so much easier than adopting in country??? I wanted to reach right into the tv and bitch slap all of them....because this process is sooooo easy.
I'm trying....I really am. I just wanted to have myself a pity party before I put my big girl panties on and drive to the airport where I will pick up the other me, who is apparently down 2 bloody mary's =0)
Tonight is Mexican night at mi casa and I'll be thinking of K while we toast with some margaritas to the uncertainty of this wait.
I'm guess I'm no longer G rated....

46 comments:

LaLa said...

Sorry....hope your Fiesta cheers you up!! Yeah, I rarely watch The View as I can't stomach Joy but I did hear that one....yep, easy as pie... : (

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

So sorry that you are STILL waiting...I wish there is something I could say or do, but I know nothing will ease your pain until you have her picture in hand!! At least you have some reinforcements coming:)

It is so easy for other people to voice their opinion as to what is easier......let them try to wait to adopt a child, whether it is domestic or international.....it is NEVER easy!!

Can you email me?.....I want to pass some info your way and don't have your email address....mine is attached to my profile:)

Debbie said...

No platitudes to say, just sending warm hugs over the pond to you.

xx

Debra said...

It sucks! I totally feel your pain.
Debra
Mama to two precious girls that happened to be born in China

lora said...

I was out of town the last couple of days....but you really did cross my mind. I was hoping when I got back I too would see your daughters cute little face.....

Try and enjoy your weekend. Or if it makes you feel better be pissed.....your deserve to be!
It is the same # of hours til Monday either way!!

Thinking of you.

Briana's Mom said...

It bites. Nothing else to say. I say go out and just slug someone. It will make you feel better.

susan m. said...

My heart aches for you and I hope that your wait will soon be over. No one who hasn't experienced this can understand. Go ahead and feel sorry for yourself, you've earned that. It's hard. So enjoy your Margarita's and your friends! Hopefully soon you will be in referral bliss........

This is my first comment but I have followed your blog for a while. I came here from "Jazzie and Tahlia", as we adopted our first daughter the same time as Sandra and added our second China girl in 2005.

Marla said...

Girl, that bites. I'm having a margarita tonight in y'alls honor. {big Texas hug for you}

You lasted a few days G rated, that was enough! :)

Daniella said...

I'm sorry it didn't happen yet. That is why I was so mad the other night that someone posted their agency had gotten referals - I know it was an accident but the emotions are sky high. I can only imagine this part is even harder than the months and months. Have a nice cold salty margarita :) I don't watch the view, far tooo left for me but I heard the clip - stupid is all I got for that dumbass remark -oops not g anymore for sure.

Kramer said...

Where in the @#%& (keeping it G rated) is that stork?????????
Hang in there, glad you got a friend there to help ease the pain. I will be crossing my fingers hoping for that stork to land tomorrow!

Colleen said...

Hang in there and you rant and rave all you want!! You are in labor and have every right to feel all you are feeling!!
The day our call for our daughter was coming we had to wait the entire day because of the time difference (we were stationed overseas)and I about lost my mind. I was so snappy and short with my family.....I didn't want to hear one more word from anyone until I knew I had my daughter. You would have never known the call was coming that day from the way I was acting. lol :)
I wish there were words to make you feel better, but I know there isn't.
Big hugs and hoping those labor pains do not last too much longer!!!!

Donna said...

I remember the week before we got our referral. I was a total mess because we didn't know our LID (our agency didn't tell us back then) and we weren't sure if we'd get a referral that week or then following month. Looking back, we had it SO MUCH EASIER than any of the rest of you! You could put almost seven of my waits into one of yours! I really don't know how my longest waiting friends have survived. You would have to pick me up off the floor with a spatula!

Enjoy your special girl time with your friend(s). Toss back another frosty margarita and close your eyes and think about what you'll probably be doing this time next week....

Donna
Our Blog: Double Happiness!

the mudder said...

Like I emailed you a couple weeks ago, I SO remember those days of JUST WANTING MY DAUGHTER and nothing anyone could say or do would make me feel any better.....
So I'll just say, I'm thinking about you.....glad you can have some margaritas with a good friend.
Sandra D.

Jboo said...

Thinking about you and so sorry that you haven't gotten any news yet! I'm still hopeful for tomorrow. Take care.

Janet

chicknboy said...

I'm so sorry! I thought about you all day and couldn't wait to get to a computer this afternoon to check your site. Praying you hear very soon!

Jacquie said...

Oh sweetie....... sorry. Just sorry. You go and have as many pity parties as you need. Thinking of you.....

Suzie said...

It sucks and I'm sorry. Be pissed, yell, scream and do what you have to do to make it through the weekend. Even if that means drinking lots of margaritas!!!

Hang in there!

sara said...

Oh honey, you should have waited until AFTER you saw babe's face before you tried to give yourself a rating :) Cut yourself some slack, you are IN LABOR and it sucks!!!!!! At least you have a girlfriend to get through the weekend (well, her & some tequila?) LOL!!! Still checking in on you and waiting with you!!

Sandra said...

It sucks!!!!
You and Colleen go and party - big time :-)

A Beautiful Mess said...

Sorry T:(

Good thang one of your gal pals is visiting to make sure that you don't sober up:P

Have fun with Col. You are in the "transition" phase of your labor..and lets be honest the shittiest part (well you are nooo longer G rated) Consider your rum and coke your epidural!

Wish I was there!

ox
Mare

Noemi said...

I am sorry. Hope having Collen there will make the time pass quicker? Enjoy your mexican night...

thegreybullet said...

I am so sorry you are not going to get the news this week. It is a tough blow and I feel your pain! Glad Colleen is coming to cheer you up!!
Ellen

Meg said...

I did see the view- and sadly it is the SECOND time they made that comment (the first was a few weeks ago)- I was so angry. You do not have to or need to put your big girl panties on- this whole waiting game sucks and you should drink yourself stupid and wake up when the rumors start to kick in....glad you'll have someone with you who understands.......but here's to hoping tomorrow brings a surprise.
Meg

Doreen said...

WTF!!!!I'm speechless and so, so sorry...IT SUX!!!

Doreen in Montreal single mom to Faith-Jiangxi & Mia-Sichuan

Shari U said...

I hear you loud & clear. I think you can keep your sh*t together just so long and then all of a sudden it's gotta BLOW! I know it will be a hard weekend, but I hope you have a great time with your girlfriend. She knows how hard it is....she'll give you a good shoulder to cry on and then she'll be over the moon happy for you! Best!!

Melinda said...

I am so sorry you are still waiting to see your little girl's face! I am glad you have a friend in for the weekend to cheer you up! Praying the weekend flies by for you and Monday brings good news! Hang in there!

Liene said...

That's one of the reasons I don't watch the View. With the exception of Ms. Hasslebeck, those women on there are delusional!!! They have no idea!

It sucks that you will likely have to wait until next week but c'est la vie! I know, not what you want to hear. Enjoy your time with Colleen.

Dawn said...

I am SOOOO sorry...I think if it doesn't come this weekend there was a greater purpose in your sweet friend coming to see you...I am still praying it is a celebration weekend!!!

Anonymous said...

Go have some/many margaritas, kiss a few palm trees and lean on us---our shoulders are strong for you!

tricia in de

Anonymous said...

I too saw the comment on the View and wanted to strangle them. They have no idea. I can't imagine your pain, I thought our 20 month wait was excrutiating. Can't wait to see your daughter in your arms.

Special K said...

I wish I was there enjoying that margarita with ya. But alas.. with a plane ticket to paradise at $567 I just couldn't swing it this time. So drink a toast for me.

Hopefully, tomorrow will be a happy day. ;) If not, party like a rock star with Col and eat lots of chocolate.

PIPO said...

I'm sorry...it sucks big ones...big furry ones (screw the G rating).

Rob a restroom or two with Colleen. It'll take the edge off for a few minutes anyway.

Mucho amor, baby.

Diana said...

I wish there was more to say then "I am sorry" as I too thought this would be the week.
I am glad Colleen is there as you two will have a ton of fun and the weekend will just FLY BY!!
I am praying the stork starts flying a little faster TOMORROW!!!

Meaklims said...

I check your blog every day and am feeling just as impatient as you!

I feel for you. It is a very emotional time and you can't help but get your hopes up.

{hugs}

kris said...

oh man... HUGE HUGE hug babe. GOD.. just emailed you with all my excitement cuz I couldn't get on your site...

may the weekend FLY BY... FLY.

love you. xoxo,

Ava's family said...

We still have tomorrow. I'm hoping that stork picks up some speed and gets our girls here before the weekend.

Debbie said...

i am so so so so so so sorry !!! thinking of you from california.

Jenny V said...

You kick and scream all you want girl- you've earned it. I hope you and Colleen and a few margaritas help you feel better. Don't know what to say, I will keep praying for you and refreshing your site as the days pass. Every breath is one more closer to her, keep breathing, drinking and screaming- whatever you need to do to make it through!
Jenny V

Ellen said...

It would be lame for anyone to try to say something to cheer you up; I just wanted to say I'm sorry. Sending good vibes from California.

Isabella's Mommy and Daddy said...

They are just pushing your buttons..
Glad Colleen is there with you.
Drink one for me..
Hugs to you both..

Lindsay said...

I'm so sorry the referrals haven't come out. It sucks. Plain and simple.

Steffie B. said...

Oh girl.....I know this journey is hard....actually it sucks....a cashier told me the other day how "lucky"...."I" was to be "getting" an older child....no potty training, no late night feedings.....I wanted to reach over the counter and bitch slap her with my check book.....all I can tell you sweet girl is when that picture does come....and it WILL come....all this will fade away and the journey will be a new one for you.....a glorious one......now have a fabo time with Miss Colleen.....have several drinks and I pray that this weekend will fly by for you.....sending big hugs....

3 Peanuts said...

I am so sorry. I know how hard the waiting at the end is. It is actually painful. Margarits and best firends are a great distraction though. I did not have internet all day yesterday (right after I commented) and it about killed me because I kept wanting to check on you. I actually called another blogger to have her come here and see if you got any info. I am still hoping that maybe you'll hear today...

BIG HUGS! We are all thinking of you and pulling for you. I have even been telling my hubby that his WV corn hole fun blogger gal is getting her referral this week. He never looks at blogs but over the years he has heard me laugh at funny things you have posted and he'll come look and he has always said that you are a riot and that we should be friends (he thinks I could use a little more fun in my life;)

Have a great time with Colleen.

Mindi said...

I am truly sorry you have to wait through yet another weekend. But I'm glad you have a good friend there to make it go faster. I know you've heard this a thousand times...but it IS true...when you see that precious girl's face and finally get her in your arms...it will all be worth it. I promise!

Diana said...

Since this blog is no longer "G" rated (loved Stephanies comment)
Just get so stinking drunk you have NO IDEA WHAT DAY IT IS till Monday:)
Have a GREAT weekend!!!

Adopchina said...

Dear Family
Firs of all, Congratulations for your new daughter HU Wan-Ling.
Let me introduce myself. Our name is Adopchina (www.adopchina.org) and we are a Spanish ONG that helps many orphanages in China.
Your daughter lives in Shangrao orphanage (Jiangxi) and this is one of our most protected orphanages.
Many Spanish families have sponsored children in this orphanage, and your daughter is one of them.
We have photos and maybe short videos of her stay in Shangrao, and if you want, for us would be a pleasure, send you everything we have about your daughter.
We were with her in September 2008 and February 2009
Congratulations, again
I would like you to know how much their caretakers love in this orphanage the children .
Its director, the person who will deliver your daughter to you is the best person in the world.
We know that this month they have been assigned several girls from Shangrao to USA, so all families referred in Shangrao Ling, if they want, can write us in Adopchina and we'll give them all information we have, photos and videos of their daughters.
We wish you happiness.

Adopchina
adopchina @ adopchina.org
www.adopchina.org